The Backyard Moose

Relax
It's not a big deal
Get over it
Let it go

I hate those sayings. A lot. If I could do those things on command, I sure would. I know you are trying to help. But you can stop saying that stuff now. Really. I am stressed, anxious and a worrier by nature (perhaps genetics). You? The kind and well-intentioned advice from strangers isn't what will make me feel better. Sorry.

But now, as I approach an age milestone (not you can't ask) I think I just might be getting there.

A while back a friend told me to adopt a mantra to say when I was stressed or upset. I tried few and thought they worked. But they didn't. I wasn't until one REALLY did that I got it.

My new mantra is "The Moose in the Backyard." A year or so ago I remembered the Moose. Then a mantra actually sprouted organically and achieved its goal. It caused me to shift my thinking, improved my outlook on life and chilled me out. A bit.

Before I loose you, let me get to the point. About 15 years ago I worked as in a professional setting. I was part of a team of pretty remarkable executives. There was one woman who really stood out. I didn't work with her often but she amazed me. Poised and well-humored even in the face of foolishness and crisis. The shining example of a what a woman in power should embody. I wish I worked with her more or even thought to ask. I worked there about 5 years. And made some life-long friends. Unfortunately this particular woman I knew I would never see again. I was surprised when I went into her office to say to goodbye. I think she gave me a card and had some words of wisdom I should have remembered. But instead it was her story about a Moose that would pop into my head years later and gift me a bit of a brain jolt.

She had a house in Maine and we worked in Massachusetts. She had a dog, maybe dogs. One morning she was trying to leave Maine for Massachusetts to get to work and was in a hurry. She went into the backyard to call in her dog and the dog wasn't listening. She said she got a bit frustrated and continued to call her dogs. After a few frustrating moments she finally went out into the backyard to get the dogs. They weren't coming and their gazed was fixed. They weren't paying her any attention and she was getting mad. The dogs weren't listening because there was a Moose... THERE WAS A MOOSE IN THE BACKYARD. This woman who I held in the highest regard for her poise and patience had got frustrated. she had lost her cool because her dogs weren't listening. She was so intent that she missed.. a MOOSE.. in her BACKYARD! She didn't even see it.

How many things have I missed?

I didn't get it then. I was young. But now I do. Serously, if you don't stop and look around you will miss the really BIG things because they are often so simple, small, quiet and fighting for attention. I need to STOP... pay attention to what matters. The biggest things in life are right there in front of you. There could be a Moose in the Backyard. Maybe I needed to have kids to really see the Moose. Or to be a wife. I know my Moose may be the rose you are stopping to smell. I am not saying I have just invented some new way of looking at life - this is just MY new way of looking at life.

My Moose in the backyard.

As a Mom, this is beyond prophectic. So many examples, like when my son was little and incesantly said "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, MOMMY!!" I was pretty sure I was one "Mommy" away from true insanity. So, I snapped "WHAT!" because I busy doing something (cleaning, talking, emailing).. tears filled his eyes... and he said "I wuv you Mommy." OUCH - Moose... BIG, FAT MOOSE.

So now I pay attention ...er, I TRY to pay attention to all the Moose in my life. I need to find the time stop and see them. Whereever they are.

Just yesterday I was reading a book and my boys were happily playing in the yard. No, really. They were quiet and having fun. So I let them be. Wouldn't you? One of those golden Mommy moments. No one needed me, no one was arguing, I didn't HAVE TO... be doing anything. But if I hadn't looked up... I would have missed this.. a frog... in the backyard. Literally. So I stopped. Watched. Savored and enjoyed. And even RELAXED. My son was transfixed and totally content to follow a frog all around the yard.

Now I start. Here is my spot to find the Moose in my life. If you want to look for them too... Come back and read on.